Toilet Paper
by Awesomenesss-sama
Summary: Wear a condom, kids, Dipper and Bill should have, and look what happened to them! (Sequel to Ditto, prequel to Curiosity Killed The Cat)


Fifteen year old Dipper Pines blinked as he woke up, rubbing his eyes. He felt some movement next to him and looked down to see a sleeping naked blonde boy. Dipper chuckled and carefully got out of bed so he wouldn't wake his boyfriend.

The night before sure had been interesting. Bill Cipher had appeared with a few bottles of liquor, obviously drunk. Dipper had had some too, but only enough to be barely tipsy. Then, of course, they had sex. It wasn't the first time, yeah, but this was different because Bill had let Dipper top for once.

Dipper quietly gathered up some clothes and a towel and hurried up to the shower, glad that it was the weekend and his great uncle Stan and twin sister Mabel wouldn't wake up until lunch time.

About halfway through his shower a half-drunk half-hungover Bill teleported into his arms. Normally Bill would just use his powers to clean up, but in his current state he was either too hungover or too lazy, it actually surprised Dipper that Bill was able to teleport.

After their shower Bill went downstairs and attempted to cook breakfast for Dipper, only to fall asleep on the –still running- stove. Dipper thanked the gods that Bill –along with everything he was wearing- was fireproof.

Three weeks later, Bill began to be clingier. It didn't bother Dipper at first, but then Bill started throwing up in his bed and eating normal human food –before his choices of substance was things like bacon and syrup sprinkled with dirt, so this was weird for him-. One day Mabel had randomly said that Bill reminded her of when their mom was pregnant with their baby brother the year before, which put an idea in his head.

"Sure demons can get pregnant, why do you ask?" Bill wondered.

"A few more questions first; is it possible for a male demon to get pregnant? Are demon pregnancies similar to human pregnancies in terms of developing time and symptoms?" Dipper questioned.

"Yes it's possible for male demons to be pregnant –though it's a little rare- and kind of. Demon pregnancies last a little longer, a full year like a horse, and the symptoms can differ from demon to demon. Why? What are yo-" Bill stopped mid-sentence and gasped, realizing what I was getting at, "you don't think…?"

"If what you said is true, then yeah, that's what I'm thinking" Dipper replied as he scribbled all he had learnt into the new journal he had gotten for Christmas, "you _have_ been acting weirder than usual lately."

"Oh wow" Bill grinned, "we could be parents!"

"Any way for you to tell, besides attempting to use your out-of-whack powers?" Dipper asked.

"There's a place in the dimension I'm from" Bill explained, "though it'll take a while."

"How long?" Dipper wondered.

"For detailed results?" Bill blinked, "a few days. But then we'll know everything from the kid's gender to any anomalies during the pregnancy."

"That sounds like a good idea" Dipper approved.

"Yep!" Bill grinned.

"So when will you leave?" Dipper wondered.

"What? Are you looking forward to getting rid of me?" Bill mock-pouted.

"How'd you guess?" Dipper teased back.

Bill laughed, "well I can go any time really, I just don't want to leave you~"

Dipper laughed too when Bill made a move to hug him, but Dipper pushed his floating triangle boyfriend away, "hurry up, the sooner we know for sure, the better."

Bill chuckled and disappeared in a puff of blue smoke.

The next day, Mabel noticed Bill's absence.

"Where's Bill?" Mabel wondered.

"In his dimension" Dipper shrugged, eating some popcorn and not looking away from the TV, "he's not gonna be back for a few days."

"Why?" Mabel asked, sitting down next to her twin.

"He's gone to see if he's really pregnant" Dipper told her; he never really planned to keep it a secret.

"Pregnant?" Mabel blinked, confused, "wait, you seriously believed me when I said he reminded me of our mom?"

"No, but it did put the idea in my head" Dipper replied.

"Can boy demons actually get pregnant?" Mabel frowned.

"Bill said they could, but it's rare" Dipper paused the movie, seeing that Mabel wouldn't stop talking anytime soon.

Three days later, Dipper, Mabel and Stan were sitting down eating breakfast when there was a bright flash and Bill (in his triangle form) appeared holding a sign above his head saying "it's gonna be a girl".

"A girl" Mabel squeaked excitedly, clapping her hands.

"What? Huh? What did I miss?" Stan looked at his grand niece and nephew.

"Nothing, _great_ grunkle Stan" Dipper grinned.

"Huh?"

"Bill's pregnant" Mabel informed him, "zoh my gosh, I'm gonna be an aunt!"

"I still don't get how two guys –one being a demon or not- can have sex" Stan scratched his head.

"Best not to think about it" Mabel told him, forcefully turning his head away from Bill, who had made a picture of a butt and an arrow appear.


End file.
